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That way, he needs less time to save up.

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Make it clear you don't want a diamond engagement ring at all. Maybe you prefer the look of a colored gemstone.

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They're often more economical than diamonds. But unless you convey that to your man, he probably has no idea. Again, once he's aware, he'll be able to rustle up the funds faster.

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Don't want a ring of any kind? Clue in your guy, pronto. Propose yourself. If getting married is your main objective, and you're pretty sure your main squeeze is into it, just ask him your damn self. No couple is any less married because the gal popped the question. Besides, if you're a same-sex female couple, a gal HAS to pop the question. Issue an ultimatum. I tried and failed.

I said, "Paul, if you don't propose by our 10th anniversary, I'm breaking up with you. We made plans to go out for dinner that night at a restaurant where there was no way he'd propose. So not one bit of me expected to get engaged that evening. But we had a great night. How was I supposed to end our happy relationship after that? When I playfully reminded him that I was supposed to dump his ass, he asked me not to and reminded me that he's simply saving for a ring.

Despite me saying I didn't need a ring, he was fairly hell-bent on buying me one.

And he did just three months later. Who out there's just dying to get engaged? Would you try any of the above to get a proposal faster? I highly recommend being patient -- seems like the girls who shut up and wait are the happiest when it finally happens. Real Life. Real News. Real Voices. Help us tell more of the stories that matter from voices that too often remain unheard. Or to have children. I argue that the decision to marry is an increasingly rational one. It often marks, not the beginning of a life together, rather the recognition and formalisation of an existing co-habiting relationship, often accelerated by the birth or the desire to have children.

Marriage is a decision we are taking later in life with Central Statistics Office figures published in showing the average age of a groom is now 33 years old.

The 365 Day Proposal

While marriage itself represents a decision to commit, it is done so when the risk of failure has already been minimised. Couples have spent years waiting until what they consider as the ideal conditions of success have been achieved.

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Compatibility has been checked, a degree of financial security and homeownership achieved. Marriage is all about risk.

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It offers couples stability in a world of increasing risk. Here, I do not mean physical or financial risk, although those dangers do manifestly exist. I mean those prevalent within modern relationships, where couples stay together only as long as their union remains mutually satisfying to both parties. This requires a greater deal of emotional work, where couples disclose their needs and wants in a relationship. It requires couples to become proficient in a language of intimacy in which these desires are communicated.

In Celtic Tiger Ireland, projects were often the wedding itself — sometimes lavish affairs that represented the next phase of the relationship.

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Other projects would follow — house restorations, longer periods of travel or the decision to have children. Although the reasons for entering marriage may appear increasingly less romantic, does this minimisation of risk before entering it actually produce happier, longer unions? The evidence suggests so. It would appear that in Ireland our cautious, rational and yes, somewhat unromantic approach to marriage really does win the day. You can obtain a copy of the Code, or contact the Council, at www. Please note that TheJournal. For more information on cookies please refer to our cookies policy.

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Propose Like a Man

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To learn more see our Cookies Policy. Paul Ryan. Stability in a risky world Marriage is a decision we are taking later in life with Central Statistics Office figures published in showing the average age of a groom is now 33 years old. Short URL. About the author:.