Many people "service" people like Sam. They receive college degrees and strive professionally in occupations that are tasked with making Sam's life better. They are "helping" us.
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Their contribution is fantastic when they understand that Sam is their equal. But hey, people are people! We judge and measure and decide what's good and bad, acceptable and unacceptable. I think we can all agree that labels are a burden, but people need to communicate. I used the term mental retardation in the paragraph above because most of our employment applicants graduated before when the APA changed their language, substituting intellectual developmental disorder for mental retardation. People call and come to sammysoap from all over the country.
Communication is best when specific. Customers want information online, and sammysoap is in the service business. We want the public to understand what our company is doing. No person with an intellectual disability, communication disorder, autism spectrum disorder, or motor disorder that I have ever known, self-describes using language that is used about them by educators, clinicians, nonprofits, government administrators, or the courts.
Are we helping or hurting? Does rigid language make us more or less compassionate? Does intent count? People are good and kind, and I've always felt these silly "gotcha's" in labeling changes can be counterproductive. Here's my motto: Once services end, let labels fade. When Sam graduated from high school, he was deemed ineligible for competitive employment.
Sam's for-profit placement, funded by taxpayer dollars, bewildered and upset me. I bemoaned the financial waste and feared the long-term effects of four walls, no windows, and a lack of community integration on Sam's psyche and advanced social skill set.
I had already turned down a sheltered workshop placement for these reasons. Sam is a curious, confident, gregarious young man. He was bored stiff at adult daycare. Within weeks, he begged me not to go. Prior to Sam's high school graduation, I had purchased soap by the six-pack at a big box. The earth spun evenly on its axis, my family's skin flared only occasionally and itched in the winter, but life went on.
None of us had ever given soap a thought. That was the Christmas before Sam's high school graduation. I remember noticing the instant pleasure and skin-conditioning qualities of real soap. Just like that, my family used its last synthetic soaps and moisturizers. Again, once you know better, you do better. The difference between synthetic detergent bars and washes and real soap is undeniable.
We were hooked on the real deal.
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