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We will email you all necessary paperwork for you to sign and fill out. If you need it, we will fill out the forms with you over the phone. All you have to do is fax or scan them back to us. Yet it only stopped until the next time. My nature and very identity had changed and I was not utilising any of my talents. The guilt was almost overbearing. Thoughts of suicide would cross my mind once in a while. Yet live I had though I now sometimes wondered if I could manage life with this guilt anymore?

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I lost one job after another until word went round and nobody was willing to give me a chance anymore. Not that it bothered me by this time. Work was a waste of time.

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There were other easier ways to get money like conning, selling household items from my parents or my house, or borrowing money and never paying back and the occasional theft. I had constant problems with the police, sometimes after drinking in one of the big hotels in the city and getting caught while trying to sneak away without paying. But these were the only places you could get a drink without paying upfront if you were confident enough. Depression set in accompanied by constant anxiety.

My kids were probably ashamed of me and many of my friends begun to avoid me due to my erratic behaviour but through all this, I continued drinking. My wife was on the verge of despair and had threatened to leave on several occasions though each time I managed to talk her out of it. And still I drank. I was hospitalised several times but since it was always with pneumonia, or other respiratory related ailments, neither me nor my family ever connected it to the alcohol, and still I drank. I had accidents, fights and even car accidents where some of my inebriated friends were the ones driving and still I drank.

I Had a major motorcycle accident in India which should have been fatal but merely cost me a few teeth and a fractured kneecap. But with a plaster cast on my right foot and a face so swollen it looked more like a balloon, I still managed, through a straw — to drink! Had I gone on?

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The route would have been the same as trodden by countless millions of broken human beings before me. My liver, heart and nervous system would have suffered and I would have been hospitalised with more serious alcohol related ailments. I would have committed suicide or one of the accidents would finally have killed me. Marco Lys , The Deepshakerz. Marco Anzalone. Sergio Parrado , Alex Ferrer. New Life Original Mix.

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